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Social Teflon, Part III: The Zen of I Don’t Give a Poop

She pretty much hates you by now.

Let’s just go ahead and rip the bandaid off, k? This is gonna hurt, but only for a second. Ready? Here’s the suck: no matter how hard you try to make people like you, you might not end up liked. I mean, there is a possibility people won’t want to be your friend.

Face that possibility, and it can’t get any worse. So all it can do is get better. See how that works? Either way, now, you’re gonna be fine.

The first lesson of Buddhism is this: life is hard. Don’t expect easy. Digest that notion, and boom! Life’s a lot easier. You stop expecting something good, and you’re fine when it doesn’t come.

But then, guess what happens? Once you don’t care if the good doesn’t come, the good starts coming. It’s magic.

So let’s apply this concept to high school popularity. You’ve faced the fact that people might never like you (harsh). So you stop trying to make people like you (sad). Now you’re putting out that, “Meh, whatever to you all” vibe (cool). And since you don’t care if they like you, they start…liking you (sweet).

This is boring and philosophical. We need some color. So here ya go. Meet Tim.

Tim had flat black hair and a Cabbage Patch Kid body. He wasn’t an athlete. He wasn’t a Popular Kid. He wasn’t an anything, officially.

And yet…Tim’s girlfriend was Heather, the human Barbie doll. Tim was on auto-invite for every kegger.  Tim made the teacher laugh at the shit that got everyone else detention. Because Tim had popularity Zen. He didn’t give a fkuc what we thought of him.

Here’s what Tim did, instead of giving a fkuc: he left the party to dance, alone, in the middle of the street. He wore a hazmat suit to school one random Thursday. He pinched my boob through my old lady costume on Halloween and said, “Nice falsies.” Then he cutely blushed when I said, “They’re not false.” Tim didn’t drink, but he was neither righteous nor ashamed about it. Actually, he wasn’t righteous or ashamed about anything. He just…was, and we could take it or leave it. And because of that, we all loved him. A lot.

So here’s a review of today’s lesson.

A) They might never like you. Face it.

B) Find other stuff to think about. Anything but Them, and whether they like you.

C) Watch as They fall at your feet.


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